PixelVixen707

Ever sat in a sensory deprivation tank? Two years ago, on a bet, I rented time in a tank in Chelsea. Clad in my swimsuit without a cell phone, a DS or so much as a wristwatch to keep me distracted, I climbed through a hatch like a library book return, closed the door, and sank into the skin temperature solution within. There was no light, no sound, nothing to do but float and think … and think … and I thought, and floated, until finally I got bored and got out. It was the longest three minutes of my life.

Endless Ocean promises a similar kind of non-thrill. But is anything worse than a game that invites, not brains, nor skills, but patience?

Endless Ocean is another entry in Nintendo’s “Touch Generations” games, meaning games that non-gamers can enjoy. Boot it up and take a dive into the shallow waters. Jerk your way past some coral. Nobody’s pressuring you to, you know, do anything. Just enjoy the fish.

As you play, you’ll realize there’s a story: when you’re not checking out the local seafood, you’re led into luminescent caverns and ancient ruins that look like the work of Incan sea monkeys. You’ll also humor the stilted confessions of your shipmate, an oceanographer who hates to swim. (That’s the only joke in the game, so enjoy it.)

And then there’s the fish. My God, the fish. Leopard whiprays, festive sea slugs, sharks, gobies and skates - there are hundreds hidden all over this ocean floor, some gigantic, some microscopic. Obsessive gamers like myself will drive themselves nuts tracking them down, and you have to study each fish three times to finish recording it in your journal - which gets you precisely nothing, except the satisfaction of beating a game about scuba.

But the joy of finding needles in this haystack is slight, and it makes the rest of the game’s illusions quickly crumble. The Wii has its uses, but as a home aquarium or a substitute for Aruba, it doesn’t hold up. The point of a game is to do something. You can minimize the competition or maximize the freedom. But to act like there’s no point, no expectations, not even a trace of stress in your situation is to lie to yourself. Like a sensory deprivation tank, it pretends to be a vacation from responsibility – yet they left in all the reminders that you’re expected to do something, that you have goals to meet and tasks to check off. That’s the human condition. It’s what separates us from the gobies.